Clover

In middle school, I dated a girl that was my first crush.  I wanted to ask her out for the longest time, but I had no self-esteem or self-worth, so it was impossible to believe anyone could love me.  When I did finally ask her out, I found out she had liked me for a while and had the same anxiety about me that I did about her.  After the success of my Dear Santa school newspaper submission, I was asked to enter the Valentine’s day contest the next year.  Clover was my entry.

 

Clover

In my hand there is a clover,

I’m trying to win you over.

 

I’ve wished upon a star,

Didn’t get me very far.

 

On luck my hope now stands,

Luck from the 4 leaf clover in my hands.

 

You’re all I’m thinking of,

You’re the one I truly love.

 

If you only knew,

What would you do?

 

How I wish to tell,

From my soul I scream and yell.

 

Try my words to take flight,

But my lips I keep shut tight.

 

I approach you one last time,

To ask you to be mine.

 

“Hi,” I softly speak,

My words, they come out weak.

 

“Hello,” is your reply,

In my heart I start to die.

 

Why can I not say more?

What am I so shy for?

 

From my clover I take a leaf,

I do to show my grief.

 

Now my luck is gone,

Somehow I must move on.

 

I turn to walk away,

I have failed again this day.

 

This just cannot be,

I need you here with me.

 

And as I turn to speak,

There a tear did grace your cheek.

 

And on the ground something lands,

From the leafless clover in your hands.

 

~Zero Ehxe

I had a four-leafed clover for good luck and tore off a leaf every time I failed to ask her out.  And little did I know she was doing the same thing, and her clover had fewer leaves than mine did.

I ended up moving away from that girl, getting on with my life, but I never forgot about her.  Eventually, we reconnected which is a great story, including me stalker-ishly sleeping in my car in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart where she might or might not have worked, just for a chance to see her again because I had no contact information for her.  It all worked out, and 2018 marks my 10th wedding anniversary with Ash!

On top of that, I won the Valentine’s Day newspaper writing contest with my Clover entry.

 

 

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