In middle school, I dated a girl that was my first crush. I wanted to ask her out for the longest time, but I had no self-esteem or self-worth, so it was impossible to believe anyone could love me. When I did finally ask her out, I found out she had liked me for a while and had the same anxiety about me that I did about her. After the success of my Dear Santa school newspaper submission, I was asked to enter the Valentine’s day contest the next year. Clover was my entry.
Clover
In my hand there is a clover,
I’m trying to win you over.
I’ve wished upon a star,
Didn’t get me very far.
On luck my hope now stands,
Luck from the 4 leaf clover in my hands.
You’re all I’m thinking of,
You’re the one I truly love.
If you only knew,
What would you do?
How I wish to tell,
From my soul I scream and yell.
Try my words to take flight,
But my lips I keep shut tight.
I approach you one last time,
To ask you to be mine.
“Hi,” I softly speak,
My words, they come out weak.
“Hello,” is your reply,
In my heart I start to die.
Why can I not say more?
What am I so shy for?
From my clover I take a leaf,
I do to show my grief.
Now my luck is gone,
Somehow I must move on.
I turn to walk away,
I have failed again this day.
This just cannot be,
I need you here with me.
And as I turn to speak,
There a tear did grace your cheek.
And on the ground something lands,
From the leafless clover in your hands.
~Zero Ehxe
I had a four-leafed clover for good luck and tore off a leaf every time I failed to ask her out. And little did I know she was doing the same thing, and her clover had fewer leaves than mine did.
I ended up moving away from that girl, getting on with my life, but I never forgot about her. Eventually, we reconnected which is a great story, including me stalker-ishly sleeping in my car in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart where she might or might not have worked, just for a chance to see her again because I had no contact information for her. It all worked out, and 2018 marks my 10th wedding anniversary with Ash!
On top of that, I won the Valentine’s Day newspaper writing contest with my Clover entry.